I couldn`t recognize you at once. I know that you are so close to my heart, but who you are I couldn`t understand: a devil with angel eyes, or just a human with an angel smile. But I guessed that something in you is an angelic:) I didn`t know that moment that you`ld change my whole life and I`ld have to dry my tears now while writing these words about you, about us, about you and I.
All my life I tried not to regret for anything, because as you used to say: "Anything could happen...". Yeah, dear really I didn`t know what was waiting for me in 3 weeks, but I was eager to move through the new road of a life my destiny presented me. I stepped up to you just as we have been knowing each other for awhile and whispered to you "where have you been all my life...?". You just smiled and the whole world of mine turned into something heavenly given and it made me lose my mind just thinking about you, dreaming about us, imagining of our future... But these all took me so far from the reality that I started not to notice things that if I saw today would never let me down like this. I stopped feeling the difference between you and me, cause in that "Californian King Bad" we were the same...But how I couldn`t get, that there are some million miles between you and me, between your future and mine. Eye to eye, chick to chick...we were just that close, and now I had nothing but memories to live on with.
Memories never disappear, now I know it for sure. I told ya once that "happiness is not forever, happiness is just a moment, after which comes disappointment. But don`t bother cause if we don`t have bad times will never understand what happiness has been, we`ll never have the real value of that happy moment. So let`s live this moment and make a real happiness. Let`s be happy for to smile about it when we`ll be disappointed ever." Sorry, dear, but I didn`t mentioned that in the moment of disappointment and loneliness you`ll smile of a moment of joy and happiness but trough tears and trembling, like I do now...
I wont regret ever for the time, for that short but so much meaning to me period of my life... How I can regret for the kiss I gave you at night while you`re sleeping next to me. When I was afraid to wake you up from your peaceful dreaming in my arms...
How I can regret for those eyes...the two diamonds that used to brighten my day like rays of sunshine Oh, God, how that angel could ever break my heart, how that angelic look can ever be brighten for another man, how?
How I can regret the crazy things we do, while every place we`ve been together now reminds me of you, while every step in our past makes me look around and looking for you... But I swear i`m afraid, i`m so afraid to find you in the crowd, find you with another man, and see him holding those hands that made me tremble while touching them...while holding them at cold nights, while painting through them in the darkest night some silhouettes of heart-shapes.
I won`t regret ever about the sounds of you laughing, they are still in my head, and I still smile cause I knew I was the guilty for your smile, for you indescribable smile, girl...
There`s nothing I will ever regret...just know, that you`ll stay in my heart in some tiny corner of it, not to be shown, not to be damaged, not to be harmed like you wouldn`t be if you stayed in my life...IF!
You raised me up, and I was standing on the mountain...but now I`m falling from the heavens and it doesn`t matter I`ll be hurt, I`ll fall to pieces or be destroyed...cause I cannot feel nothing more. The pain I got from you, it damaged my internal life, my soul and my heart...It seems like all my feelings were locked up and stayed high there in heaven. And heaven only knows what I`m about now, when I`m smiling while falling down to the reality of life full of danger, loneliness, harm and ongoing pain.
See the tears are drowning they own, and the time will heal everything... I promise I`ll forget you and try to live by moving on. I hope some day I`ll learn to live not looking for you everywhere, and I can say you name easily...
You told me: "...you don`t deserve me cause you love in a way that no one will ever know..." Yes, you were right, I loved ya, and loved ya in a way another will never do...because you yourself don`t deserve it. I can only say to you that my love is enough to move on and I`m sure, don`t ever mind baby, I`ll find someone like you even I have to walk trough the edge of a razor of this life. And I know that the "new you" will be loved even more and stronger, cause you made me that much higher, by pushing me down...What doesn`t kill us it always makes us stronger, and you`ll see it... And when you regret about what you`re losing now, which I`m sure you will, just close your eyes and watch all we`ve been trough, live that moments again and try not to open your eyes, cause the love we had it took all over and now it all has gone...
Please try to be happy and make the "new me" more happy, be with him more truly and regard him like you would like him to regard you... Always remember me, like I will... Always live with these memories, like will... And please try to love, like I loved and will forever...
With love,
Somebody That You Used To Know
With love,
Somebody That You Used To Know
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